Forever Family, Forever Vongola
by AnimationNut
Summary: They're a group of insane, energetic, destructive and hyper people. But they also love each other, whether some are willing to admit it or not. Family sticks together, through thick, thin, and crazy.
1. Lambo's Bully Problem

**I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn. **

**Intending to turn this into a collection of one-shots. If you have suggestions, leave them in a review. This will be family, humour and friendship centered, so keep that in mind if you have requests to leave. I don't really do romance.**

**Hope you enjoy.**

**Lambo's Bully Problem**

Lambo hated school.

First of all, the academics were mind-numbingly boring. It wasn't that he was stupid (no matter how many times Gokudera insulted him as being such) it was just that his attention span wasn't large enough to focus on lessons for an entire school day. He supposed his grades could be better, but really, why try? He was the Lightning Guardian for Vongola Decimo. He was pretty much set for life.

…not that he'd say such a thing in front of Tsuna. The twenty-year-old was determined that his youngest guardian finish his mandatory education. So Lambo was resorted to wasting away precious hours sitting behind his desk, doodling in his notebook when he should have been taking notes.

There had been a bit of a debate between the Vongola Guardians as to what to do about Lambo's school situation. Vongola Nono wanted his successor and his Famiglia to move into the Vongola mansion in Italy. While Tsuna was no longer fighting his destiny as being a Mafia Don, he didn't want to uproot Lambo out of Namimori Middle, especially considering it was the boy's first year there.

The preteen attempted to convince his older brothers (and sister) that he didn't mind transferring to a middle school in Italy so late in the year, but the others finally decided that it would be best to let the twelve-year-old finish his three years of middle school in Japan, so that he would have a fresh start in high school in Italy.

The ex-Arcobaleno Reborn wasn't entirely happy with the situation, but after Nono was informed of the decision he assured the hitman that he could act as the Vongola Don for another three years. With Timoteo's approval, Reborn agreed, and so the group was to reside in Namimori for another three years, not that anyone put up too much of a fight about it.

Well…maybe he did. But he felt he was justified in his annoyance. After all, he had been chosen to be the Guardian of the Lightning Ring at the age of _five. _When he was old enough to understand the weight and honour of the title he had been given, he was ecstatic. He held one of the most prestigious positions in the entirety of the Mafia. He wanted to move to his homeland and actually start doing his part as a Guardian. So yeah, he may have put up a bit of a fight.

A fight which quickly fizzled out when Tsuna mentioned that I-Pin ought to have finished her training stint with Fong in Hong Kong by then and would be able to join them in Italy, which meant Lambo would be able to navigate high school with his best friend.

And Reborn pointing his gun at him and Gokudera fiddling with his dynamite may have also persuaded him to stop being an annoying brat-for once.

So here he was, shuffling down the hall with a bored expression on his face, books tucked under one arm. He stepped out into the sunlight, a small smile breaking through when he thought of Mama and the snacks she would have waiting for him.

"_Hey, Bull Head!"_

_There goes a clear escape, _thought Lambo in annoyance. He flicked a gaze over his shoulder, where Morimoto Nakhti was sneering at him. Pretty much King of Namimori, Morimoto had a grudge against Bovino Lambo, who was dangerously close to usurping his position.

Ignoring the fourteen-year-old, Lambo strolled through the school gates and started down the sidewalk. He didn't make it far, as a heavy hand landed on his shoulder and jerked him backwards.

"I'm talking to you, Bull Head," growled Morimoto. His friends stood a few feet away with anticipatory smirks.

"I noticed," said Lambo flatly. He had long ago stopped referring to himself in the third person. "But I don't really want to talk to you."

Morimoto straightened up so that he was towering over the younger boy. "Think you're too good to talk to me?"

Lambo sighed. "Do I have to answer that?"

"You talk bigger than you are," growled Morimoto. "You're nothing! You're a squirt who doesn't know his place."

"If you're worried about me displacing you as the idol of Namimori, then you're in trouble," said Lambo, turning around and starting to walk off. "I'm popular by not doing anything. You're popular by trying too hard. Which one of us is going to win in the end, do you think?"

Within a second, Lambo was jerked back around and a fist sailed into his face, sending him flying backwards onto the hard cement. Morimoto shook out his fist and smirked, his friends laughing behind him. "Who do I think will win? The one who can kick butt and take names, Bull Head."

He walked off, leaving the twelve-year-old to curl up on the sidewalk, holding his throbbing eye, which was no doubt turning black. _"Hold…it…in…hold…it…in…I can't!"_

He burst into tears, which only caused the pain in his head to increase. Some passing students cast him glances of sympathy, but didn't stop to help. Everyone knew it wasn't wise to assist Morimoto's victim. It would only result in pain for them as well, so it wasn't worth it.

Slowly climbing to his feet, Lambo wobbled for a moment, the world blurred around him before clearing again. He removed his hand to scrub the tears off of his cheeks and take deep, shuddering breaths. When he felt he was calm enough, he started off, head down as he hurried for home.

_I wish I-Pin was here, _he thought miserably. _She would have taken him down in a second._

But that thought only served to darken his mood more. He loved I-Pin, but it got rather annoying every time he was reminded at how skilled she was. The third most promising assassin, soon to be second, would no doubt return from her training nearly unbeatable.

Then there was him, Bovino Lambo, who wasn't even an average hitman when he left to kill Reborn when he was five-years-old. Now twelve, his skills had only improved somewhat, and his Guardian skills still had something to be desired. It sucked, when he was surrounded by people who were greatly gifted in their abilities.

"How am I going to explain this?" he muttered to himself as he got closer to the Sawada residence. "It's humiliating! Stupidera is going to laugh at me, Reborn's not going to let me forget it and Tsuna-nii is just going to be worried."

He also didn't want to explain to them exactly how long he'd been picked on by the big-headed teen.

_Maybe I can slip inside, get some sunglasses and pass them off as my new accessary, _he thought. _Or maybe just hide out in the woods or something until it fades away._

Yes, he decided he was willing to go to extremes to hide his situation. He didn't need to hear how stupid he was, how careless or much of a herbivore he was.

"_Oi, Lambo!"_

"_Wait up, Lambo!"_

Lambo's eyes grew wide. Of course. When he wanted to avoid his brothers, they happened to show up. He picked up his pace, pretending not to hear them.

"_Ahoshi, Juudaime told you to wait!"_

"_LAMBO! IT'S US, TO THE EXTREME!"_

No, no, no, no, no, no. He could not let them see him like this.

Not caring about subtlety anymore, he broke into a run, tearing around the corner at a high speed. Calls of his name sounded behind him, but he ignored them. When he neared home, his heart dropped at the two familiar figures lingering in the front yard.

_Crap._

"Lambo-kun-" started Chrome, but her eye widened in surprise when the boy ploughed past. Mukuro, only a year out of his heavy-duty prison, arched an eyebrow at the sight of the fleeing boy. He was about to halt the child in his tracks when an _oof! _sounded.

Grunting, Lambo rubbed his head, sitting on the pavement. "Sorry," he apologized. "I-"

"You're disturbing the peace, herbivore."

Paling, Lambo hastily climbed to his feet. "Right, sorry, Kyo-nii," he said.

Hibari, who had long since accepted the young boy as a part of his pack and hadn't bitten him to death when the address first slipped out three years ago, stared down at him. "You passed your home."

"Yeah, I know, I'm just gonna go for a-"

But he didn't get to come up with a decent excuse, as the other Guardians joined them, four panting heavily from their attempts to catch up with the oddly behaving boy.

"What's wrong with you, ahoshi?" snapped Gokudera. "Juudaime was calling for you!"

"Didn't hear," said Lambo, keeping his head lowered slightly so that his thick, curly black hair hung in front of his injured eye.

Tsuna blinked. "You didn't hear Oniisan?" he asked incredulously.

Yamamoto laughed. "That's alright, Lambo. We were kind of far away."

"No, we weren't, baseball idiot," muttered Gokudera.

"Uh, so what are you guys doing out?" asked Lambo, hoping to distract his older brothers as he figured out a way to slip away from them. He was definitely going for the sunglasses cover-up. He just needed to get to the shades, which were resting carelessly on his bedroom floor.

"We decided to go for a walk," answered Tsuna. He studied his Lightning Guardian, sensing something was wrong. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine!"

Chrome tilted her head to the side. "You ran right past us."

"Kufufufu…you looked as if you were in trouble," remarked Mukuro.

Hibari's eyes narrowed. "Trouble?"

"No trouble!" said Lambo quickly.

Furrowing his brow, Tsuna followed his intuition (which never steered him wrong before) and hooked two fingers under Lambo's chin. He forced the boy's head up, causing the curtain of black hair to fall to the side, revealing a black-and-blue right eye. _"Lambo!"_

"What happened?" demanded Gokudera.

Yamamoto frowned, a rare serious glint in his eyes. "Did you get attacked?"

Lambo felt his stomach sink. So much for trying to cover his stupid, avoidable injury up. "Sort of. A kid at school punched me."

Chrome gasped. "Why would they do such a thing?"

Lambo shrugged. "He doesn't like me. He didn't like what I said and decked me one. I guess I deserved it-"

"There are no excuses for violence in Namimori Middle," said Hibari, his tonfas out and gleaming.

"No one punches my little brother!" bellowed Ryohei, punching the air.

Tsuna nodded firmly. "Who hit you, Lambo?"

Suddenly annoyed with himself, the twelve-year-old kicked at the ground. "Don't worry about it, it's not a big deal."

"Yes, it is," returned Tsuna.

"No, it's not!" snapped Lambo. "I've been handling it fine, I don't need your help!"

A dark frown crossed his older brother's face. "You've been handling it?"

"So this has happened before," muttered Yamamoto.

Lambo winced, silently cursing his big mouth. "Yes," he admitted reluctantly. "Since my first day."

"Kufufu, that settles it," said Mukuro with a sinister smile, his trident materializing in his hands. "Are you giving a name or do I need to take a look into your mind?"

Chrome settled her small hands on Lambo's trembling shoulders. "We want to help you."

"Yeah," agreed Gokudera gruffly. "Only we can rough you around."

"There are no strays in a pack," muttered Hibari.

Lambo bit his lip. "So…you're not mad?"

Bewilderment crossed Tsuna's face. "What are you talking about?"

"You're not mad that I let myself get hit?" he clarified. "I know I'm not strong like you guys, but I should be able to deal with a middle school bully."

"You're twelve," said Tsuna, threading his fingers through Lambo's black hair. "Right now, focus on your childhood, on your schooling. We deal with anyone who messes with you."

"To the EXTREME!" hollered Ryohei.

"Hn."

"Kufufu…with pleasure."

"Maa, maa, that's right!"

"Leave it to us, Lambo-kun."

"Yeah, ahoshi."

Lambo blinked back sudden tears and nodded. "'kay. Morimoto Nakhti. He thinks I'm out to take his place as the idol of Namimori Middle."

"Morimoto Nakhti," repeated Tsuna. "Got it. Mom's got snacks waiting inside, so go ahead. We'll be back."

"Okay." Lambo ventured back towards home. "Thank you, guys."

As the twelve-year-old chowed down on Nana Sawada's famous snacks, Morimoto was currently peeing his pants, alone in an empty park, surrounded by threatening figures ready to exact revenge and teach the delinquent what happens when someone messes with their little brother.


	2. Virtual Visitation

**I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn. **

**Virtual Visitation**

Head resting against a stack of pillows, Lambo smiled contentedly as he relaxed in his massive bed. Balanced against his knees was a large tablet, his best friend's face filling the screen as they communicated with each other during one of their frequent video chats.

"_A vacation,"_ sighed I-Pin longingly. She was sitting at her desk, in front of her computer screen. _"I'd love to have a vacation."_

Lambo arched an eyebrow. "You're in Hong Kong."

I-Pin mimicked his action. _"So? What's that got to do with anything?"_

"Well, Hong Kong seems like a nice place to have a vacation."

"_To you, maybe. But I'm training constantly. It's not like I'm taking leisure time to see the sights. Besides, I don't think my homeland counts as a vacation spot."_

"You have a point," agreed Lambo. "But can't you take a break? Bring Fong over here."

I-Pin shook her head. _"We'd love to, really, but we can't. The tournament is coming up soon and we can't slack off now."_

Lambo snorted. "You're going to dominate. I know it."

I-Pin smiled. _"Thanks. I hope so. I'm going to be the youngest student there."_

"They'll underestimate you, and you'll catch them off-guard and kick butt. You already have a strategy."

"_I never thought about it like that. I'll keep that in mind. But enough about my upcoming tournament. I'm trying to keep my mind off of it so I don't get stressed. What's up with you?"_

"Well, as you already know, I'm vacationing at the Vongola mansion in Italy. And it's awesome. We've seen the sights and gone to fancy dinners and I've ridden in at least three different limos."

I-Pin rested her chin in the palm of her hand, her eyes going misty. _"I really miss everyone. I wish I could be there with you guys."_

"Well…you can always say hi."

"_Yeah, I suppose I can call later."_

Lambo rolled his eyes. "I mean now, goof."

I-Pin blinked before her eyes brightened in realization. _"You mean like virtual visitation?"_

"Virtual for you," said Lambo as he struggled out of his comfy bed. "I'm the one doing the walking."

He stepped into the hall, keeping the screen facing outwards so that I-Pin could see what the Vongola mansion looked like. _"Wow,"_ she breathed, staring in awe at the elegant architecture and decorative pieces. _"It's beautiful."_

"I know, right? Wait until you see the garden. It's like a theme park for flowers."

Bemused, she said, _"I'll take your word for it-for now."_

Lambo reached a room at the end of the hall and he knocked on the door. "Take-nii, you in there?" he hollered.

I-Pin clucked her tongue. _"Don't be so loud, Lambo."_

The wooden door opened and a tall, raven-haired man glanced down with a smile. "Lambo," the Rain Guardian greeted. "What's up?"

Lambo hefted the tablet higher, so that I-Pin could get a clear view of Yamamoto's face. "I-Pin says hi."

"_I can do it!"_ huffed I-Pin. _"Hi, Take-nii! It's great to see you!"_

Yamamoto's eyes brightened at the sight of the twelve-year-old girl. "I-Pin! It's been a while! You're coming to visit us soon, right?"

I-Pin giggled. _"As soon as I can,"_ she promised.

"How's your training going?" asked Yamamoto. "Not being pushed too hard?"

"_Nothing I can't handle,"_ assured I-Pin. _"How are you doing?"_

"Fine! Just taking care of the usual business, and keeping Lambo out of trouble," he answered cheerfully, running a hand through the boy's thick black hair.

"Right, okay, that's our cue to move on," said Lambo. "Besides, I've only got a certain amount of battery percentage here, anyway."

"_He's my virtual guide,"_ informed I-Pin. _"I'm going to see how everyone is doing."_

"Which means a max two-minute conversation," put in Lambo.

Yamamoto laughed. "Ah, I see. Well, you better keep moving, then. I know everyone will be happy to see you, I-Pin. Take care of yourself, and we'll talk more later."

"_Okay, Take-nii. Bye!"_

"Who's next?" asked Lambo as he started off.

"_Who's there?"_

"Pretty much everybody," said Lambo.

"_So Haru-chan and Kyoko-chan are there?"_

"Yes."

"_Them next!"_ cheered I-Pin.

Lambo shuffled through the mansion and found the pair chatting with each other in one of the many sitting rooms. _"Hi!"_ greeted I-Pin loudly.

Haru and Kyoko whipped their heads around at the sound of the familiar voice. "I-Pin-chan!" they cried, jumping from the couch and rushing Lambo.

"Wait!" the boy protested as the tablet was wrenched excitedly from his hands. "Watch the equipment!"

The two girls went back over to the couch, wide smiles on their faces. Lambo straightened his cow-print shirt and shuffled over to stand in front of the females. "Geez," he muttered when they started to shriek happily. "You guys are loud."

"How are you?" asked Haru, she and Kyoko crowded over the tablet. "How's the training?"

"_I'm good! The training is going well."_

"Of course it is!" exclaimed Haru. "You're the best!"

I-Pin blushed. _"Thank you. How are you guys? Are you enjoying your vacation?_"

"Great! The mansion is beautiful, and everyone is nice," replied Kyoko.

"We even picked out our rooms for when we move in," said Haru. "You can sleep in the room across from us!"

"No way!" protested Lambo. "She's gonna sleep in the room next to mine!"

Kyoko smiled teasingly. "We'll see about that."

Haru nodded. "Hai!"

"Alright, that's enough." Lambo snatched the tablet back. "We're going before you persuade her to your side."

"Bye, I-Pin-chan," said Kyoko, her eyes tearing up.

"We really miss you," added Haru, and to Lambo's horror, the three girls burst into tears simutaneaously.

"_I miss you too!" _wailed I-Pin.

"No, no!" shrieked Lambo, backing up towards the door. "Don't cry! You'll see her at Christmas!"

He stumbled into the hallway, shutting the door to the sitting room firmly behind him. I-Pin's cries were emitting from the speakers, rather loud in the silent space. "Stop it!" said Lambo frantically. "Please!"

Eventually his best friend settled down. The boy sighed with relief. "Okay, new rule. No more crying."

"_I'll try,"_ said I-Pin, wiping at her eyes.

But when they reached the end of the hall, it was to see Chrome coming in their direction. Once the two girls laid eyes on each other, they erupted into tears.

"What did I just say?" cried Lambo.

"I-Pin-chan," said Chrome, large tears trailing down her pale cheek.

"_Chrome-nee,"_ sobbed I-Pin.

"I don't like this job!" groaned Lambo, who was not comfortable around crying girls. He reached over and patted Chrome's shaking shoulders in an attempt at comfort. "I want a transfer."

"Kufufu…who dares to upset my precious Chrome?"

"I didn't do it!" howled Lambo, scrambling backwards as Mukuro materialized beside them.

The illusionist took in the sight before him and shook his head. He wrapped his arms around Chrome's waist and pulled her against his chest. "Dear Chrome, why are you crying?"

"I miss I-Pin-chan," said Chrome, leaning into Mukuro's embrace.

"_I miss Chrome-nee and Mukuro-nii and everyone,"_ sniffled I-Pin.

"But you will be with us soon, will you not?"

The girl gave a nod. "Christmas," supplied Lambo helpfully.

"See? There is no need to be upset." He wiped away Chrome's lingering tears before glancing at the screen. "Kufufu…I hope you are kicking butt."

"_Hai!"_ I-Pin nodded. _"I'm doing well, Mukuro-nii."_

"I expect nothing less from the world's greatest assassin."

I-Pin blushed. _"I'm not the greatest-"_

Mukuro waved a hand dismissively, cutting her off. "To us, you are."

The twelve-year-old smiled brightly. _"Thank you!"_

"Okay, we're going to go now," said Lambo, inching around the pair of illusionists. "Remember, she'll be back for Christmas. Don't cry."

Chrome nodded and waved. "Bye, I-Pin-chan!"

"Continue annihilating your opponents."

"_Bye, Chrome-nee, Mukuro-nii!"_

Lambo shook his head as he continued his search for their family members. "Seriously. No crying!"

"_Look who's talking!"_ shot back I-Pin.

The boy reached the ground floor of the mansion and stepped outside. He peered around and found Ryohei jogging around the perimeter of the mansion. Lambo sat at the bottom of the front steps and waited for his elder brother to reach them.

"Lambo!" said Ryohei stopping near the preteen. "I-Pin!"

"_Ryo-nii!"_ said I-Pin cheerfully. _"I miss you."_

"I miss you TO THE EXTREME!" Ryohei bent down so that he closer to the screen. "Are you doing EXTREME training?"

"_Yes! As always!"_

"THAT'S MY GIRL! TO THE EXTREME!"

"You're being too noisy, herbivore."

Lambo yelped in surprise when Hibari appeared suddenly behind him. Ryohei straightened and said, "I'm just EXTREMELY talking with I-Pin!"

The twelve-year-old boy flipped himself over, so that his head was facing downwards and his feet upwards. He angled the tablet so that I-Pin got a clear view of their brother. _"Hi, Kyo-nii!"_ greeted I-Pin cheerfully, having long gotten over her childhood crush.

Hibari gave a curt nod. "Are you defeating all the herbivores?"

"_Hai, Kyo-nii."_

The young adult inclined his head in approval. "Good," he said. "Keep biting them to death." He cast a glance at Ryohei. "Keep the noise down."

He headed back inside the mansion. Lambo twisted himself around so that they were facing Ryohei again. "I'm am off to do EXTREME jogging!" said the boxer, his legs already moving. "Visit us soon, I-Pin!"

"_I will,"_ promised I-Pin. _"Bye, Ryo-nii!"_

Lambo stood and watched as he took off at an impressive speed. "So, when you get back, you're the one who gets to be dragged on his extreme jogging."

"_No, no,"_ said I-Pin. _"It's EXTREME jogging."_

Laughing, the boy headed back inside the mansion. "Alright, who's left?"

"_Who's there?"_

"We've already been through this!" groaned Lambo. "Everyone."

"_Bianchi?" _

Lambo faltered. "Alright, maybe not everybody. Futa and Bianchi stayed back with Mama. So I guess that leaves Haya-nii, Tsuna-nii and Reborn."

"_Which is not everybody."_

"Shut up."

Lambo wandered throughout the mansion, eventually stumbling upon Gokudera in the library. The man was reading a book, curled up in a chair. "Oi, Haya-nii. Someone wants to say hi."

Gokudera glanced up and arched an eyebrow. "Is that someone you?"

"No." Lambo raised the tablet and I-Pin waved wildly. _"Haya-nii!"_

Gokudera set the book down and motioned for the twelve-year-old to come closer. Lambo complied and found himself hoisted up so that he was sitting in his older brother's lap, the tablet angled so that I-Pin could see the both of them.

"_Hurray, you're not fighting!"_ she cheered.

Gokudera snorted. "It's a rare occurrence. If ahoshi wasn't so annoying, we wouldn't have so many problems."

"It's not just me!" snapped Lambo. "If you weren't such a Stupidera, I wouldn't have to insult you!"

I-Pin laughed. _"I think most of it is your fault, Lambo."_

Gokudera laughed as Lambo scowled. "Excuse me?" he asked indigently. "I can stop this virtual visitation anytime I want."

His finger hovered threateningly over the _End Call _button. Gokudera swatted it away. "Virtual visitation?" he echoed.

"_I miss everybody and Lambo offered to be my virtual guide,"_ explained I-Pin.

"We miss you too. Especially when ahoshi is being insufferable. You're the only one he even remotely listens to."

"_I try my best."_

Lambo rolled his eyes. He glanced at the battery icon in the corner of his laptop and frowned. "Alright, we gotta go. I'm reaching ten percent on this thing and we still have to say hi to Reborn and Tsuna."

Gokudera loosened his grip and Lambo jumped up. "You're visiting us soon, right?"

"_Christmas,"_ promised I-Pin.

"I'm holding you to that. Call back anytime."

"_I will! Bye, Haya-nii!"_

Lambo sighed as he hurried down the hall, in the directing of the office that had been set up for Tsuna during his stay. It would be his temporary office until he officially became Vongola Decimo and the move was permanent instead of them visiting temporarily.

"This is going to be your first and last virtual visitation," grumbled Lambo. "My feet hurt."

"_I appreciate it, Lambo."_

"Yeah, yeah."

He reached the heavy office door. He rapped sharply on the wood and when it opened, it was Reborn standing in the doorway. Lambo thrust up the tablet and hollered, "Don't shoot!"

I-Pin shook her head. _"Oh, Lambo."_ She then smiled brightly. _"Reborn, it's nice to see you."_

"I-Pin," greeted Reborn. "Why are you waiting precious time talking to this idiot?"

Lambo scowled. "I am not an idiot! And I'm her best friend!"

Reborn smirked. "She can do better."

"_I-Pin? What are you doing?"_

The girl glanced over her shoulder. _"Talking to Reborn and Lambo, Master."_

A new face joined the screen, and Fong smiled slightly. _"I suppose it would be too much to ask for you to do homework while I'm out doing errands."_

I-Pin blushed. _"Well, Lambo called me."_

Reborn promptly smacked the preteen across the back of his head and the boy yelped. "What was that for?" he whined.

"For interrupting I-Pin. And for avoiding your own homework."

"I'm trying to do something good here!" whined Lambo. "I'm taking her on a virtual visitation! All we have to do is see Tsuna-nii."

"_Ah, I see."_ Fong nodded. _"Well then, I'll leave you to it. But after that, you've got homework to do. Training and family is important, but so is your education."_

"_Hai, Master." _

"Reborn? Who's at the door?"

Lambo glanced at Reborn, who stepped aside. He gave the child a slight kick as he passed, sending him stumbling into the office. Tsuna smiled. "Oh, Lambo. What do you need?"

"Someone wants to see you." Lambo straightened and lifted the tablet. I-Pin, who had been doing rather well in keeping her emotions in check since speaking with Chrome, lost it at the sight of her childhood protector.

"No!" howled Lambo. "What'd I say? No crying!"

Concern immediately flooded Tsuna's brown eyes and he jumped up from his desk. Lambo immediately thrust over his device, letting his older brother deal with his best friend's wailing. "What's wrong?" he asked anxiously. "Are you hurt? Did something happen?"

Fong, alerted by I-Pin's sobs, rushed back to his student. _"I-Pin, what's wrong?"_

"_I-I-I m-m-miss T-Tsuna-nii!" _wailed I-Pin. _"I miss everyone!"_

Tsuna smiled affectionately. "I miss you too, I-Pin. We all miss you. But Christmas is coming up, and we'll all be together then."

Lambo flung his hands in the air. "That's what I've been saying!" he exclaimed.

"And," continued Tsuna, "you can always call us whenever you want. Doesn't matter the hour."

"_Okay," _sniffed I-Pin. Fong rubbed her shoulders in an expert, soothing manner, helping calm the girl down.

"Tell me about your training," said Tsuna, settling back in his seat. "Are you excited for the tournament?"

As I-Pin answered, Tsuna did not remove his eyes from the screen, a tender, attentive expression on his face. Having a feeling his student would be there for as long as it took to ease I-Pin's homesickness, Reborn placed two hands on Lambo's shoulders and firmly guided him from the office.

"It's got less than ten percent of battery left!" protested Lambo as he was bustled down the hallway.

"Tsuna has his own charger, idiot cow," said Reborn.

"I didn't say goodbye!"

"You don't need to. Now, are you going to go do your homework or am I going to have to shoot you?"

"You'll probably shoot me anyway."

Reborn smirked. "Maybe. Depends on whether or not you get to your room in the next ten seconds."

He removed his hands and the boy took off like a shot. Shaking his head, Reborn tilted his fedora down and followed lazily after the twelve-year-old. There was a very good chance Lambo would need help with his homework, and he was more cooperative in working with the hitman than the Storm Guardian.

Though the ex-Sun Arcobaleno was looking forward to when he would be able to tutor the idiot cow and the young assassin together again.

Not that he would ever admit it out loud, of course.


	3. Vongola Facebook

**I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn, Facebook or Farmville.**

**I gave some characters last names while others have a title. I-Pin is the only exception.**

**Most of these one-shots will probably center on Lambo, since he's my favourite character. If you have a particular character you would like to see a chapter centered around, drop me a review and let me know. Also, if you want more Facebook chapters, let me know that as well.**

**Reviews equal love. So please review.**

**Vongola Facebook**

Stuck in a crowded computer lab, Lambo stared at his computer screen. A blank word document was pulled up, the cursor blinking patiently. Pursing his lips, the twelve-year-old flicked his gaze to the other side of the lab, where his teacher was reading a newspaper, not even noticing that half of his class were playing computer games instead of working on their history reports. After a moment of debate, Lambo closed the empty word document and opened up the Internet browser, searching for Facebook.

_I'll deal with the consequences later, _he thought as he logged in. Someone in his family would wonder why he was so behind on his assignment, and he would eventually have to admit he spent the work periods goofing off on Facebook. Then the consequences would come, fast and fierce. But right now, he was bored and had no energy to work on his report. The home page loaded and he started to read through his News Feed, having not been on the social networking site for a while.

**Tsunayoshi Sawada  
><strong>I'm not the official Vongola Decimo yet. Sure, I have the title, and the guaranteed spot, but I'mnot the actual Vongola Don yet. So answer me one thing.

**Hayato Gokudera **What's that, Juudaime?

**Tsunayoshi Sawada **How come I have so much freaking paperwork to do?

**Boss Xanxus **Because you're trash.

Lambo snickered at the Varia boss' response. Over the years the members of the Varia had started acting less hostile to Tsuna. Of course, they were still violent and threatening and completely Varia-like, but the change was noticeable. He figured that the change in opinion was helped along by the memories the Varia members received from their future selves.

**Tsunayoshi Sawada **That's not an answer! You just insulted me!

**Boss Xanxus **So?

**Hayato Gokudera **How dare you insult Juudaime!

**Boss Xanxus **Shut up, trash.

**Hitman Reborn **You have paperwork because I say so, Dame-Tsuna.

**Tsunayoshi Sawada **…that's enough of an answer for me.

Lambo glanced up at the time listed underneath Tsuna's original post to see when the conversation occurred. _All the good stuff happens while I'm sleeping, _he thought with a sigh. He scrolled down and found a post from Squalo, posted about twenty minutes after Tsuna's complaint.

**Squalo Superbi  
><strong>WHO TOOK MY CONDITIONER?! **Belphegor**?

**Prince Belphegor **Ushishishishi. Don't look at me. My hair conditioner is imported.

**Illusionist Mammon **So that's why I got a massive bill for a crate of specially made hair product. You're costing me money.

**Prince Belphegor **A prince does not settle for peasant products.

**Fran Hamasaki **But you're a fallen prince. You don't technically rule anything.

**Prince Belphegor **I'll skewer you. Who gave the brat a Facebook account?

**Illusionist Mammon **He paid me ten dollars.

**Prince Belphegor **You don't do anything for ten dollars.

**Illusionist Mammon **He came to me. Plus, he's only thirteen, and it's not like we pay him much anyway.

**Fran Hamasaki **Times are slow for Mammon. His rates are getting cheaper.

**Prince Belphegor **Ushishishi. I'll keep that in mind.

**Squalo Superbi **THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MY MISSING CONDITIONER, IDIOTS! WHERE IS IT?!

**Boss Xanxus **Shut up, scum. You're clogging my news feed.

**Levi Akagi **Notice how Lussuria isn't chiming in.

**Squalo Superbi LUSSURIA**! DID YOU TAKE MY CONDITIONER?!

**Lussuria Hora**…it smells like strawberries!

**Squalo Superbi **I'LL KILL YOU!

Lambo shook his head. Only the Varia members would get into a violent squabble over hair conditioner. But then again, who was he to talk? He lived with his own fair share of violent people. He glanced at the next status, which was by Xanxus, about half an hour after Squalo made his demands for his missing hair product back.

**Boss Xanxus  
><strong>Filth, you're being too noisy. If I have to come down there…

**Prince Belphegor **Can I skewer them?

**Boss Xanxus **Why the hell not?

Lambo smiled in amusement. He bet that encounter went well. He moved on to the next couple of posts.

**Haru Miura  
><strong>Just got woken up by someone yelling EXTREME repeatedly. I wonder who it could be…

**Kyoko Sasagawa **Sorry, Haru-chan. You know how Oniisan likes his extreme jogging.

**Haru Miura **No, no, it's EXTREME jogging. You have to put emphasis on the extreme.

**Ryohei Sasagawa **EXTREME!

**Kyoya Hibari  
><strong>Whoever took the last of the milk will be bitten to death.

_Oops…_ thought Lambo, beads of sweat gathering on his brow. He was probably going to get smacked with a tonfa for that one. Good thing he was the baby of the family. His smacks hurt less than the ones Hibari doled out to the other members of their family.

**I Pin  
><strong>Sometimes training can be a pain, but on the bright side of having an odd life, I don't have regular school hours. Yay for sleeping in!

**Master Fong **Rest is important, but sleeping until noon while I'm out is a bit much. I think we can make up for those lost hours with no problems, yes?

**I Pin **Hai, Master…sorry.

**Hitman Reborn **Are you always leaving her alone? Young students need discipline, especially ones like her.

**I Pin **I'm a great student!

**Master Fong **Who happens to get distracted when doing errands. You're extremely talented, but you still have a long way to go.

**I Pin **Yes, Master. I know.

**Hitman Reborn **I suggest doing a hundred laps around your training compound for punishment for slacking off.

**Master Fong **Sounds good. **I Pin**?

**I Pin **…hai. Thanks, Reborn.

**Hitman Reborn **Anytime.

Lambo laughed. His best friend definitely dug herself a hole with that one.

**Mukuro Rokudo  
><strong>Kufufufu

**Chrome Dokuro **Um…Mukuro-sama, is everything alright?

**Mukuro Rokudo **I have plans.

**Tsunayoshi Sawada **NO PLANS! PLEASE!

Lambo arched an eyebrow and scrolled down past some advertisements to see if he could find the plans Mukuro had. He found another status, and though it was vague, he knew it was in relation to the last status he read.

**Tsunayoshi Sawada  
><strong>One of my Mist Guardians is a psychopath. **Ken Joshima**, please save me. Or **Chikusa Kakimoto**.

**Ken Joshima **Stop being a pain, **Chrome Dokuro**.

**Chrome Dokuro **I don't think it's me…

**Tsunayoshi Sawada **It's not you, **Chrome**. It's the person you choose to call your best friend.

**Ken Joshima ***cough* boyfriend *cough*

**Chrome Dokuro **KEN!

**Chikusa Kakimoto **She's probably blushing right about now.

**Mukuro Rokudo **Kufufufufu

The twelve-year-old snorted. He honestly could see the two illusionists together. Though they were as different as night and day, they worked well together. He could see it happening, and was pretty sure the pair would end up together soon enough.

**Hayato Gokudera  
><strong>Thanks to **Mukuro**, half a block was destroyed. All because the idiot had to irritate **Kyoya**.

**Mukuro Rokudo **At least it was only a half of a block.

**Kyoya Hibari **I'll bite you to death another day. Go clean up the mess you made.

**Mukuro Rokudo **Kufufu, I'm pretty sure you were the one that ripped apart that mailbox.

**Takeshi Yamamoto  
><strong>Baseball practice!

**Squalo Superbi **QUIT THE STUPID BASEBALL CRAP AND START SWORD TRAINING! DON'T MAKE ME COME OVER THERE!

**Tsunayoshi Sawada **No! **Xanxus**! Please don't let him come over here! Namimori can only take so much damage!

**Boss Xanxus **Not my problem. **Squalo, **take the small trash with you.

**Fran Hamasaki **Road trip?

**Takeshi Yamamoto **Yeah, come visit, Squalo!

**Lussuria Hora **Ooh, ooh, I'm coming too!

**Ryohei Sasagawa **Yes! We can have an EXTREME boxing match!

**Tsunayoshi Sawada **Well. This will be interesting.

Lambo agreed with that one. Whenever members of the Varia came to visit, something exciting and destructive always happened. Though he was eager to see Lussuria. The flamboyant man always spoiled him with treats.

**Spanner Thornton  
><strong>Dropped my phone into a puddle. Screw all other projects. Let's get on that waterproof technology.

**Shoichi Irie **Yes. I can agree to this.

**Scientist Verde **Hmm…shouldn't take more than five hours.

**Shoichi Irie **Race?

**Spanner Thornton **It's on.

**Scientist Verde **Be prepared to be defeated.

_Ooh…waterproof cellphone. I could use one of those._

**Lal Mirch  
>Colonnello, <strong>if you send me one more Farmville request, I'm going to beat you!

**Colonel Colonnello **But I need supplies, kora!

Lambo made a mental note to send the ex-Rain Arcobaleno some gifts when he got home. He could use some stuff too, anyway. To give is to receive, especially in the world of Facebook games.

His gaze flicked up to his notification icon and furrowed his brow when he realized he had a lot of recent notifications. He had been so busy reading through his News Feed that he hadn't noticed the small pop-up windows informing him of the new activity that related to him. He clicked on the first box and paled at what he saw.

**Hitman Reborn  
><strong>So it seems **Lambo Bovino **is goofing off again. Punishment is in order.

**Kyoya Hibari **On Facebook during class time is breaking the rules.

**Hayato Gokudera **Looks like some extra tutoring sessions are in order, ahoshi.

**Mukuro Rokudo **Kufufu. Next time you want to use Facebook during class, be sure to make your chat status hidden from others.

**Chrome Dokuro **Oh dear, Lambo…I think you're in trouble.

**Tsunayoshi Sawada **Oh, he's in trouble alright. BIG trouble…

**Master Fong **Looks like he and I-Pin share similar tendencies when it comes to completing their school work.

**Takeshi Yamamoto **Maa, maa, Lambo. You should focus on your schoolwork. You can play later!

**Colonel Colonnello **Send me stuff on Farmville, kora!

**Lal Mirch **Don't encourage him!

**Lussuria Hora **Naughty, Lambo-chan! No sweets for you!

**Haru Miura **Lambo-kun, you shouldn't be on Facebook during class time!

**Kyoko Sasagawa **It's important to work hard!

**Ryohei Sasagawa **Study to the EXTREME! Or you'll be EXTREMELY sorry!

**Spanner Thornton **No new waterproof cellphone for you.

**I Pin **BUSTED!

Lambo pursed his lips. Well. There was only one thing to do now.

**Lambo Bovino **…I love you all?**  
><strong>


	4. Having What It Takes

**I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn.**

**Having What It Takes**

Fran was bored.

He really had no reason to be bored, considering he was a main member of the Varia, Vongola's independent assassination squad. There was always something exciting going on in the Varia mansion, whether it be Xanxus trying to kill the lot of them or Belphegor attempting to skewer him. But it was one of those rare, lax days, where his comrades were in a relatively good mood.

Huffing out a breath, the blue-haired teen continued his walk through the woods. It wasn't often that he got to explore alone, since most of his time was devoted to furthering his skills as an illusionist and doing tasks for Squalo. Any spare time he had was spent sleeping and regaining the energy spent dealing with his crazy teammates.

Lazily, he created a few purple butterflies, watching as they swirled between the trees. He then formed a swarm of massive frogs, which immediately started to chase and eat the shimmering insects. "Hmm…" he mused, noticing that one frog was missing a leg. "Little more concentration."

Master Mukuro seemed to think he was good enough in his abilities to send him over to the Varia, where Mammon took over the training. He wasn't ready for any serious missions, but could tag along on scouts and stakeouts.

Frowning, Fran kicked at the forest floor, sending up a small cloud of dirt. Sometimes, when he was surrounded by silence and could actually hear his own thoughts, he often heard the same question bouncing around his mind.

_Why am I here?_

He was thirteen-years-old. He should be in a normal school, with his grandmother, living a lonely life because his peers thought he was weird and isolated him. But by a twist of fate or luck or whatever force dictated the course of life, he was in Italy, part of the greatest group of assassins to ever walk the Earth.

He wasn't even close to their skill level. Belphegor joined the Varia when he was eight, having killed his entire royal family and needed something to do. Lussuria was a gifted boxer, Levi could do one of the rarest moves a person baring the Lightning Flame is capable of doing and Squalo was the greatest swordsman in the world. Xanxus held the Flame of Fury. Mammon had to be tied with Mukuro as being the greatest illusionist alive.

And then there was him. An illusionist-in-training who'd never killed anybody in his life. He wasn't even that good of an illusionist.

"Don't even know why I'm wasting my time," muttered Fran. "Like I'll ever be good enough for the Varia. I'll probably be dead in a month's time, once they figure out I'm not going to be as great as they think."

_Caw!_

He jumped at the sudden bird call, craning his neck up in time to see a black bird soar overhead. He caught a glimpse of the sky, which was a dark orange colour. "Oops," muttered Fran. "Guess I stayed out longer than I meant too."

The seven Varia members always gathered at six o'clock to eat dinner, and Fran found it rather odd that they held such a traditional custom. Even Xanxus attended ninety percent of the dinners.

Fran scanned the forest area and his heart fell when he realized he had no idea where he was. None of the landmarks looked familiar, and he didn't have a clue which direction he should go towards.

"Master didn't train me in the art of navigating," he said aloud as he randomly started off, hoping he was retracing his steps. "If I'm late, I can blame it on him."

He spent a while walking in circles, and when the sky darkened he got seriously panicked. There were wild creatures in the forest, and he was fit to be their dinner. Closing his eyes, he attempted to materialize out of the forest and back to the mansion. But all he managed was to move a few feet. He had yet to master large distances.

"This is not an ideal situation," he sighed, reluctantly shuffling off, his sneakers dragging through the dirt. "I wonder if they'll give me a burial after they find my corpse…or perhaps they'll burn it. I suppose either works."

A wind picked up, causing goosebumps to prickle along his bare flesh. Shivering, he wrapped his arms around himself and bit his lip. No amount of his dry wit was going to get him out of this mess.

"_Grrr…"_

Freezing, Fran glanced over his shoulder, his heart leaping into his throat at the sight of a pair of gleaming eyes staring at him through the shadows of the trees. A large form crept towards him, paws thumping heavily on the ground.

_A very impressive specimen of a bear, _thought Fran, slowly backing as the brown creature moved towards him. _What's the protocol for bears again? Play dead? Climb a tree? Make yourself look bigger? _

He tried to create an illusion to frighten the bear away, but his fear was greatly hindering his abilities and all he could conjure was miniature lion.

_Well. So much for a bright future as an illusionist._

Backed up against a tree, he was one swipe away from being bear food. Screwing his eyes shut, he shrunk back and waited for the final blow.

"_VOOOIII!"_

The bear barely had time to look towards the sound of the voice before it was taken out by a sword and a volley of silver knives. Slowly, Fran opened his eyes, ignoring the mess of blood to stare at his approaching teammates.

"Idiot!" snapped Squalo, grabbing the thirteen-year-old roughly by the arm and dragging him off. "You almost got your lousy butt eaten."

"Ushishishi," laughed Belphegor, trailing lazily behind them. "We wondered why you didn't show up for dinner. Turns out you were trying to become dinner."

"You came to look for me?"

"No, we're this far in the damn forest because we want to be here," said Squalo sarcastically. "Yes, stupid, we came looking for you."

Fran blinked. While he expected them to be annoyed with his tardiness, he didn't expect them to actively look for him. "Oh."

"What's this? No witty comeback?" snickered Belphegor. "Perhaps the bear got a swipe or two in before we arrived."

Squalo flicked his gaze over his shoulder to do a quick sweep of their young charge. "No, looks like we made it," he remarked, spotting no marks on the boy. "Though you deserve a gash to the side of the head for being a moron."

Belphegor clucked his tongue. "Then he'd just lose more memories and IQ points. He doesn't have many left."

"I'll still have more than you," replied Fran.

Belphegor twirled a knife lazily through his fingers. "We'll see about that after you get a knife through the head."

"I did not waste effort saving him from a bear just so you can kill him immediately after," said Squalo in annoyance.

The prince put the knife away. "I suppose I can wait a few hours before taking my turn."

They reached the Varia mansion five minutes later and entered through the back entrance. Squalo gave Fran a shove down one of the corridors. "Boss wants to see you in his office."

"You're in trouble," cackled Belphegor.

The two started off down another corridor, but paused when Fran called after them, "Thank you."

Squalo stared at the small blue-haired child, eyebrow arched. "What?"

"Thank you," he repeated. "For saving me."

Squalo exchanged a glance with Belphegor in bemusement. The teen was sincere in his gratitude, and in their few years of living with him, they weren't accustomed to such emotion coming from the normally dry and sarcastic boy.

"Don't flatter yourself," said Squalo finally with a snort. "I'm not going to deal with the massive pile of paperwork just because your stupid butt got eaten by a bear."

"Only I get to skewer you," added Belphegor with a smirk. "If you want to die so badly, you didn't need to walk all the way into the forest to do it. I'd be happy to take care of it for you."

"Get moving," ordered Squalo. "Before Boss decides to take your head off."

Fran nodded and shuffled off. He soon reached Xanxus' office and rapped on the large wooden door. "Boss?"

"Get in here, trash."

He quickly obeyed, stepping into the office. He approached the grand desk, where Xanxus was seated. "You wanted to see me?"

Xanxus' response was to deliver a sharp slap to Fran's face. The boy flinched and gingerly touched the red welt that quickly formed. "Is that it?" he asked dazedly.

"It won't be if you keeping running your mouth off."

Fran bit his lip, hoping it would stop any of his infamous remarks from spilling out. Xanxus glowered at him, slowly sinking back down into his chair. "Where the hell where you?"

"Lost in the forest," he replied.

"Lost in the forest," repeated Xanxus, an annoyed expression on his face.

"Well, there aren't any signs out there to help me out."

_That probably counts as running my mouth off._

He prepared himself for another slap, or perhaps a bullet, but all he got was a withering glare. "Shut up, trash. If your small brain can't remember how to navigate the forest, then don't go in there in the first place. We're not wasting our time to look for your sorry butt."

"I almost got eaten by a bear."

Well, this caught Xanxus' attention. The man stared at him incredulously. "What?"

"A bear almost had me for dinner," repeated Fran, rocking back on his heels. "But Captain and Bel-sempai saved me."

"What the hell has Rokudo taught you?"

"A lot."

"Apparently not if you couldn't save your own butt from a bear, scum."

"Should I leave?"

Though the thirteen-year-old wasn't entirely clear with what he was asking, Xanxus knew that his youngest subordinate wasn't talking about leaving the office. He was talking about leaving the Varia altogether.

Xanxus studied the blue-haired boy, who was standing stiff and lacking his usual, ever-present confidence. "Is _that _what's gotten you so distracted lately? Pathetic."

Fran's eyes widened with surprise. "Wh-what?"

"I'm not stupid," snorted Xanxus. "You've started to become more useless than when we first got you. And all because of a moronic reason. I could care less if you chose to walk out these doors and never come back. You're hardly the illusionist Rokudo is, and it sucks being labelled as your legal caretakers. But since it hasn't crossed through your thick head yet, I guess I'll have to state it outright. Not _anyone _gets invited to join the Varia. You're here because you have potential. If you're going to doubt yourself, then you're not going to live up to that potential, and we'll kill you, and if you're not able to stop us than your death will be deserved."

Fran processed this for a moment, and Xanxus watched him with an unreadable expression.

_I can stay here, where I may or may not further my abilities and become one of the greatest Vongola Famiglia members. Or I can cut myself off right now and save myself from the humiliating possibility that I will never be good as them and walk away with my life._

The answer, he realized, came quicker than he expected.

"I'm going to be here for a long time," he answered strongly. "Insolent mouth and all."

Xanxus' lips quirked upwards for a very brief moment before settling back into an uncaring mask. "Then I suggest getting your trashy self out of my office and getting to work. If you want to stop Bel from stabbing you to death, it's going to take some damn good illusions."

"Right. Later, Boss."

Fran departed and headed down the marble corridor, hoping there was some food left in the kitchen. He reached the corner and ran into Levi, who was holding a plate wrapped in tinfoil in his hands.

"'bout time you showed up, brat."

"Took the scenic route," he said casually. "Is there any food left?"

Levi thrust the plate into Fran's hands. "So you don't faint on us," he said gruffly. "You already give us enough headaches."

He strode purposefully away, leaving the thirteen-year-old to stare at the leftovers in surprise. The plate warmed his hands, and a smile curled across his face. "Thanks, old man!" he called, and his answer was a grunt.

Continuing on his way, he went to the bedroom wing and found Lussuria's door was open. Curious, he poked his head in and found the man seated at his desk, sketching something on a piece of paper. Sensing a presence, Lussuria glanced over and beamed. "Fran-chan, how nice to see you! We missed you at dinner!"

"I got distracted."

"Come in, come in, sweetling. No sense in eating alone."

Fran ventured inside the brightly decorated space and settled on the flamboyant man's bed, crossing his legs and setting the plate on his locked-together ankles. He peeled off the layer of tinfoil and his stomach gave a rumble at the delicious aroma of spaghetti and meatballs. A fork rested neatly at the edge of the plate, and he scooped it up and started it eat.

"What are you doing?" he asked through a mouthful of noodles.

"Creating new designs," Lussuria said cheerfully. "I want to put a spin on these drab uniforms."

"You're a fashion designer?"

"I dabble, dear."

"Maybe you can design a new hood for me." Fran tugged on his infernal frog hood, which apparently, was something his future self had worn and therefore he needed to wear (Bel and Mammon were very adamant about this).

Lussuria laughed. "I don't think the others would appreciate that. But need not fear, you work it very well!"

"I appreciate your attempt to spare my fragile feelings."

A moment of silence passed, with Lussuria working and Fran eating. When the boy finished, he set his plate aside and drew his knees up to his chest. "I went to see Xanxus," he said conversationally.

Lussuria clucked his tongue sympathetically. "Was he rough?"

"He slapped me, and that wasn't exactly pleasant."

"That all, then?" said Lussuria, looking rather pleased. "Wonderful! It's slow progress, but at least it's progress."

Fran tilted his head to the side. "I've heard stories from Captain, when he's trying to instill fear in me. Apparently, he's much better now than he was a while ago."

"Squ-chan is right about that," confirmed Lussuria.

"What changed?"

The flamboyant man smiled slightly. "He would certainly kill us for saying this, but I believe Tsu-chan helped."

"Really?"

"Positive. I think he had some sort of epiphany, when the Sky Ring rejected him and he learned the truth of his background. I think the majority of the rage he held was expelled during his fight with Tsu-chan, and he had some time to truly think without being plagued by such intense anger. After everything was said and done, he became less aggressive."

Fran arched an eyebrow dubiously. "Are you sure?"

Lussuria laughed. "Ask any of the others and they'll say the same thing, hon. The change is noticeable-for us, anyway. Be grateful you weren't there during his dark days."

"If he was really that horrible…why did you stick around?"

"Because we're a team," said Lussuria matter-of-factly. "The Varia works so well because there is no one else like us out there. We work as a unit. Xanxus-chan is our boss. We do as he commands. And I think we all agreed that he was meant to be Vongola Decimo."

"What happened?"

His lips curled. "We met Tsu-chan, and learned the truth. Even Xanxus-chan had to dwell on the fact he was beaten by a mere teenager. Things just changed-for the better, thankfully."

Fran nodded. "We're a very twisted family."

Lussuria laughed loudly. "We are indeed, sweetling."

"Oi, there you are."

Mammon stood in the doorway, hood pulled over his face as always. "Come on," he ordered. "We've got training to do."

"Leave the plate, hon, I'll take care of it. Don't be too hard on Fran-chan!"

"We'll see."

Fran followed after the ex-Mist Arcobaleno. "We never train this late."

"I heard you almost got your butt devoured by a bear. I'm not going to be the one to explain to Mukuro that his former student fell victim because he can't overcome his fear."

"No other emotion is required in that situation," replied Fran.

"Perhaps, but illusionists must learn to have control over their emotions and surroundings."

"I'm going to become a great illusionist."

Mammon glanced down at the small boy, lips quirking upwards at the rather confident declaration. "Then I suppose we better start. By the way, you owe me. Extra training aside from regular hours counts as overtime."


	5. Solution To Failure

**I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn.**

**Solution To Failure**

Slouching low in his wooden desk chair, Lambo watched with apprehensive eyes as his teacher walked up and down the aisles, handing back their math exam. He felt he had good reason to be nervous, as he had spent more time playing video games than studying.

His teacher stopped beside him. "Try a little harder next time, eh, Bovino?" he said, placing a sheaf of stapled papers face down on Lambo's desk. He winced. _Ooh. That doesn't sound good. _

"Yes, sir," he replied. When the man moved on to the next student, Lambo flipped his test over and groaned at the sight of ugly red marks littering the front page alone. A big fat zero glared at him from the corner of the page.

_I didn't even guess right! _he thought in dismay. _I should have gotten pity marks._

The bell rang then, signalling the end of the day. "See you tomorrow!" the teacher called as the students started to get up and gather their stuff together. Lambo tried to make a quick escape, but his teacher added, "Bovino, get your test signed and return it to me."

He nodded and shuffled out of his classroom, bag slung over his shoulder. "Well. I'm screwed," he muttered. He pulled his cellphone out of the pocket of his schoolbag and fired off a text to his best friend.

'_Failed my math test. Scored a zero. Any ideas?' _

He received a response just as he was stepping out the front doors of Namimori Middle and into the afternoon sunlight. Folding his hand around the screen to block the glare, Lambo squinted to see what I-Pin had sent him.

'_I'll pick out the casket. Don't worry, I'll make sure you have a nice funeral.'_

Lambo rolled his eyes. _'That's very helpful. Thank you.' _

He could practically hear I-Pin's laugh, even though she was a good distance away, reading his despaired messages in Hong Kong. She always seemed to take amusement out of his problems, especially when he was the one who put himself in said problems.

His phone vibrated, alerting him that his best friend had responded. _'In all seriousness, you should come clean.'_

Well, at least this piece of advice was sincere, though he didn't really want to reveal his horrendous results to his older brothers. He especially did not want Reborn to find out, because then he would be in for another torturous tutoring session that would leave him with a few decent-sized bruises.

His phone gave another buzz. _'Or you could just get Mama to sign it and leave it at that.'_

Lambo brightened. Now this was what he called problem-solving. _'You're a genius.'_

His best friend replied with a coy, _'I have my moments.' _

Now a lot less stressed, Lambo walked home with a relaxed posture. While Mama would be disappointed, she would be too used to Tsuna's dismal test performances to be really mad at him. She would simply sigh, tell him to try a little harder, and scrawl her signature. There would be very little to no fuss.

He just had to do it when his siblings weren't visiting.

Nono had set up a temporary Japanese base until the lot of them moved to Italy. Ryohei, Takeshi, Hayato and Tsuna resided in a modest house a few minutes away from the Sawada residence. Though Kyoya also had a room for him, he chose to live in an apartment with Kusakabe. He claimed it was because he didn't like crowding, but the apartment the two ex-Disciplinary Committee members lived in was rather close to the other Guardians. Lambo supposed it was because the house Tsuna and the others lived in was a bit on the small side. Hibari would, however, move with them into the Vongola mansion, which was extremely spacious.

Mukuro and Chrome were currently living with Ken and Chikusa in their apartment, which was personally paid for by Nono on Tsuna's request.

Despite each of them having their own living spaces, the Sawada household was the common meeting ground for the family members, and Nana embraced them all fondly.

"Here's hoping no one stops by to gorge on Mama's food," muttered Lambo. He reached the Sawada household stepped through the front door. The place was silent, so he took that to be a good sign. He kicked off his shoes and poked his head into the kitchen. Futa was sitting at the kitchen table, reading a textbook. "Hey, Futa."

"Hey, Lambo," the high schooler greeted with a smile. "How was school?"

"Alright," he replied casually. "You?"

"Hard. I have a science exam tomorrow."

Lambo frowned. "That's no fun."

"Tell me about it," agreed Futa.

"Do you know where Mama is?"

Futa pointed towards the hall. "Outside. She's having tea."

"Thanks." Lambo left the kitchen, sliding into the hall and going over to the sliding glass door. He jerked it open, shouting, "Mama! I need you to sign-!"

His words quickly halted upon spotting Hibari Kyoya sitting on the edge of the porch with Nana, calmly sipping tea from a porcelain cup. Gray eyes flashed over to meet wide green orbs. The twelve-year-old quickly put a smile on his face. "Hi."

"Lambo-kun," said Nana cheerfully. "Come have tea with us!"

"No, it's-"

Lambo's attempted rejection of the offer was cut off as Hibari pulled him down so that he was sitting between the two adults. Lambo reluctantly accepted the cup of tea Nana offered to him and took a sip. "Thanks," he muttered. "But I really should be-"

"What do you need to have signed?"

Lambo snapped his gaze over to his older brother, and his heart started beating a little faster at the intense stare directed at him. "What?" he squeaked.

"You said you wanted Mama to sign something."

It was mostly due to Nana's insistence that anyone close to Tsuna called her Mama, as she truly treated them all like her children. There had certainly been surprise when Hibari first referred to the woman as such, but soon the shock wore off and Tsuna was rather pleased by this progress in his Cloud Guardian's attitude.

But of course, this change had led to visits, and now Lambo was very close to getting busted.

_Crap._

"Oh, that's right!" exclaimed Nana. "I'll have to get a pen-is it a permission form, Lambo-kun?"

"It can wait!" said Lambo, setting his cup down and climbing to his sock-clad feet. "I'm gonna go to my room now. See you, Kyo-nii."

He hurried inside and took the stairs two at a time. "Hey, Bianchi," he greeted the pink-haired woman as they passed each other on the second-floor landing. Before she could respond, the boy disappeared into his bedroom.

Arching an eyebrow, Bianchi mused, "Wonder what's with him."

"That's what I'm going to find out."

Hibari strode up the stairs and Bianchi glanced at him in amusement. "You do that." She ventured down the steps. "If it's a love problem, be sure to let me know," she called over her shoulder as she descended, prepared for a long night of helping Futa with his studying.

Hibari opened Lambo's bedroom door without knocking, and caught the boy in the act of shoving his schoolbag underneath his bed. "Small animal."

Tripping over his feet in his haste to turn around, Lambo struck the hardwood floor and stared up with wide eyes. "You can't just walk in without knocking!"

"I can and I did." Hibari closed the door behind him and moved further into the room. He stepped over the splayed-out boy and crouched down, hooking two fingers through the strap of the bag and dragged it out.

"Wait," cried Lambo, reaching out to grab his bag. "You can't go through there!"

Hibari easily pulled the bag from the boy's grasp and used his other arm to haul him to his feet. "Sit," he ordered, and Lambo quickly obeyed, dropping down on the end of his bed. Hibari rummaged through the contents of the bag before pulling out a test paper. He stared at the abysmal grade before glancing at his younger brother, who was now looking firmly at his feet.

"My eyes are up here."

Lambo slowly glanced up, his anxiety clear in his green gaze. Hibari flicked through the test with a frown. "I believe you had at least three weeks to study for this test."

"Yes," he whispered.

"There is no reason for having failed so completely, unless you weren't studying at all."

The twelve-year-old swallowed thickly. "I didn't. I completely forgot about it. I was playing video games."

"Then that leads us to your punishment."

Lambo flinched. "Are you going to tell Reborn?"

"I ought to," returned Hibari. "Perhaps his tutoring methods will cause you to take school more seriously."

He nervously twisted his hands together, already envisioning the sound smacks and harsh kicks to his backside the hitman would deliver once news of his failure reached him. "Okay," he mumbled, knowing he really didn't have much say in the matter.

Hibari let the child stew in his worries for a moment before saying, "But if you manage to score an eighty on the retest, then perhaps no one will need to know of this disaster."

Lambo furrowed his brow in puzzlement. "But…I don't get a retest."

"I have connections. You'll get a retest, and you won't screw around this time." Hibari pulled a pen from the pocket of his jeans and signed his name at the bottom of the first test page. "Bring this in tomorrow. Your retest should occur sometime next week."

Lambo took the signed test, a bright smile on his face. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

"_Lambo-kun!" _Nana called from downstairs. _"I have snacks for you and Kyoya-kun!"_

"Okay, Mama!" Lambo answered. He glanced at Hibari. "Are you staying or…?"

"I'm not leaving until we go over this mess," the man answered, gesturing towards the test in the boy's hands.

"Then we're gonna need snacks," decided Lambo. He set his math test aside and rushed out of the room, eager to see what snacks Nana had made for them.

Hibari sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled Lambo's phone out of his schoolbag. He lazily scrolled through the boy's recent texts and arched an eyebrow upon spotting the short exchange between the boy and I-Pin.

'_Helping him be dishonest results in being bitten to death.'_

He received a response almost instantly.

'_Well, I did give him two options. He just happened to choose the dishonest one. So technically, he should be the one bitten to death.'_

Hibari shook his head, lips quirking slightly. _'You're both rotten brats.'_

'_Can't argue with that one.'_

Lambo walked in then with a plate of freshly baked cookies and spotted his phone in Hibari's grasp. "You can't just invade my privacy like that!" he whined, setting the food down on his bedside table.

"So long as I'm Kyo-nii, I have the right to invade your privacy to ensure you're not doing anything stupid," returned Hibari.

The boy frowned. "Then how come I can't go through your stuff?"

Hibari gave the child's behind a light kick. "Because then I'd most certainly have to bite you to death. Now stop whining and start telling me which formulas to use."


	6. BFF Faceoff: Tin Can Challenge

**I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn.**

**BFF Faceoff: Tin Can Challenge**

"_This is a stupid idea."_

I-Pin's face filled the screen of Lambo's laptop, and she watched her best friend with wary dark eyes. The young boy was currently ripping labels off of five silver cans without looking at them and throwing the paper into the garbage. Picking up a black marker, he wrote on the lids of the cans, marking them from _one _through _six_.

"It's going to be fun," he replied without looking at his friend. "Got your cans ready?"

The girl glanced at her own set of cans, set up neatly in front of her on the kitchen table. _"I'm supposed to be meditating right now,"_ she muttered. _"Master isn't going to be happy if he catches me."_

"Well, _he's_ meditating right now, and he completely tunes out the world, so you're good for ten minutes," reasoned Lambo, bringing his cans over to the marble kitchen island where his laptop was set up. He was sleeping over at his brothers' place for the weekend, as he often did.

It was seven in the evening and he was the only one in the kitchen. Earlier that day, he was struck with inspiration of something he could do with I-Pin and immediately contacted the girl to share his idea. It took some persuading, but she gave in (as she tended to do).

"_The Tin Can Challenge,"_ said I-Pin, a slight frown on her face as she studied the bare cans in front of her, numbered _one _through _six _as Lambo had instructed her to do. _"I've seen videos on the Internet of this. Why are we doing it?"_

"Well, why not? It's something we can do together without having to physically be in the same room."

"_So our frequent three-hour conversations aren't enough? You have to torture me?"_

"I'm doing it too," pointed out Lambo, settling himself on the cushioned stool. "Besides, you only have to eat the contents out of three cans. There's a chance you'll get all three good ones."

"_There's also a chance I'll get the bad ones,"_ returned I-Pin. _"I can't believe I agreed to pick up dog food."_

"You can't do a tin can challenge without pet food. I got cat food, so you had to get dog food."

"_Can't believe I spent my money on that,"_ sighed I-Pin. _"I'm also going to have to explain to Master why five cans of food are missing."_

"We'll deal with that later," dismissed Lambo. "You remember the rules?"

I-Pin nudged the bowl beside her, which held six paper slips. _"I pull a number for you, and whatever number is on the paper is the can you have to open and eat. Same goes for me. We have to eat the contents, and if we spit it out it's considered a loss. We only have to do three of our six, so that we won't know if we'll be eating all good, all bad, or an uneven mix of both."_

"You got it! Who's going first?"

"_I guess I will. Let's get this over with."_

Lambo reached into the plastic container sitting beside his elbow and pulled out a slip of paper. "Can five," he said.

Reluctantly, I-Pin picked up her can opener and opened up the designated can. She let out a sigh of relief once she saw the contents. _"Sliced oranges."_

Lambo snorted. "Of course."

She cheerfully popped a spoonful of oranges into her mouth. She then picked out a number from her bowl. _"Can one,"_ she said through the mouthful of fruit.

Lambo picked the can up and opened it. His nose twisted up in disgust. He lifted up his spoon, which showed a jiggling white and grey mass of mushroom soup mix. I-Pin grinned. _"That looks nasty."_

"Could be worse," grumbled Lambo. He hesitantly rose the spoon to his lips and ate the contents in one go. He gagged slightly but managed to get it down. "Ew. I don't even like this stuff when it's cooked."

He set the spoon aside and grabbed another slip of paper. "Can two."

I-Pin opened up can number two and peeked inside. _"Ugh!"_

"What is it?" Lambo asked with a grin of anticipation. "Is it dog food?"

I-Pin tilted the can so that her best friend could see the contents. Lambo wrinkled his nose. "What _is _that?"

"_Sauerkraut, I think,"_ she muttered, poking at it with her spoon. _"It smells so gross."_

Piling the stuff onto her spoon, she quickly shoved it into her mouth. Face screwing up, she dropped the spoon and clapped both hands over her mouth.

"Spit it out, spit it out, spit it out," he chanted.

"_Shut up!" _she mumbled through her fingers. After a great amount of effort, she swallowed the pickled shredded cabbage. The second it went down she grabbed the bottle of water resting beside her computer and chugged it.

Lambo frowned. "Darn. My turn."

"_I hope you get cat food next." _I-Pin reached into the bowl and plucked out a slip of paper. _"Can two._"

"Please be caramel," he begged as he twisted off the top. A wide smile crossed his face. "Yes!"

"_Not cool," _groaned I-Pin.

Lambo happily ate the sweet, thick substance. "Alright, last can." He pulled out the third slip of paper. "Can four."

Taking a deep breath, I-Pin slowly opened her final can. _"Oh, thank you," _she breathed, spooning out some olives and shoving them in her mouth. She then reached into the bowl and pulled out the third slip of paper. _"Can six."_

Lambo snagged the can opener and opened up his final can. "Oh, you have got to be kidding me!"

"_Yes!" _cheered I-Pin. _"Oh, you've no idea how happy I am!"_

"Shut up," snapped Lambo, eyeing the cat food moodily.

"_Don't snap at me. This was your idea." _I-Pin crossed her arms and grinned. _"Eat up."_

Taking a spoonful, Lambo winced and hastily crammed the wet brown pet food into his mouth. "Ugh!"

The foul taste was too much to bear and he dropped down to the tiled floor, grabbing hold of the trashcan. As he retched into the plastic bag, I-Pin's laughter rang throughout the kitchen.

"_I win!" _she whooped in between fits of hysterical laughter. _"I win!"_

"You suck," he rasped, gagging. The taste in his mouth was now cat food mixed with caramel and mushroom soup, which only caused him to vomit more.

Rushing footsteps sounded towards him and soon Tsuna and Gokudera appeared in the kitchen. The two took in the scenario; Lambo retching into a trashcan and I-Pin hunched over on Lambo's laptop screen, her laughter increasing in volume and tears running down her face.

"What is going on?" demanded Gokudera, bending down and helping Lambo to steady himself.

"_We-we-we-ha ha ha ha!"_

Tsuna stared in bewilderment at the collection of cans on the marble counter and then at I-Pin's own collection of cans on the computer screen. "What were you two doing?" he asked, though he doubted he really wanted to know.

"We did the Tin Can Challenge," muttered Lambo, slumping against Gokudera, who ran a hand through his black curls in a soothing motion.

"_He ate cat food!" _cackled I-Pin.

"Ahoshi, what is wrong with you?" demanded Gokudera.

"Apparently, lots of things."

"_Whew…oh man." _I-Pin finally got her laughter under control and she sat up in her chair, wiping tears of mirth off of her face. _"That was great."_

"You're both insane," said Tsuna, staring at the open can of cat food with an expression of disgust. "Whose idea was this?"

I-Pin arched an eyebrow. _"Do you really need to ask?"_

"Don't play innocent," snorted Gokudera, helping Lambo stand up. "You've come up with your fair share of stupid ideas."

"But it really was my idea," piped up Lambo, wiping the back of his mouth with his hand.

"Alright, I think the two of you have had enough contact for one day," said Tsuna with a shake of his head. "Lambo, go brush your teeth a hundred times. I-Pin, what are you supposed to be doing?"

The girl grinned sheepishly. _"Meditating."_

"Then go do that."

"_Alright. Bye, Tsu-nii, Haya-nii. Talk to you later, Lambo."_

"Bye," said Lambo. He reached over and ended the video chat. "Ugh. I don't feel good."

"Why would you eat cat food?" asked Tsuna, sweeping the open cans into the garbage can.

"That's, like, the staple of every Tin Can Challenge," exclaimed Lambo. "You have to have some sort of pet food."

Gokudera shook his head. "That's the stupidest thing I've heard. And you've said a lot of stupid things. Go brush your teeth."

Lambo took off for the bathroom. Tsuna glanced at his right-hand man. "So…never leave them alone again?"

"Too bad that's not practical. That'd solve a lot of our problems."


End file.
